Monday, June 22, 2009

Counting Calories, now? Say it ain't so!!!

I joined this weekend, as I really try to get serious about my weight loss. This was my introduction and as I typed it, I realized that lots of my bloggy friends don't know the whole story, so here it is.


I am a just turned 30, stay at home mom of two great kids. My daughter Jade is 4 1/2 and my son Onyx is 18 months. I am 5'3 and currently 148 pounds. My goal weight is 125, but that is kind of my fantasy goal weight. I would be happy at 130, if I could stay right there.

My history with weight loss is tied to my sugar addiction and my emotional eating. I lost 30 pounds when I was in college. I had a demanding job and demanding school schedule and I ballooned up to almost 150. At the end of that semester, I got serious about working out and eating right. I was down to 120 and eventually gained back about 6 pounds, but held it steady at around 126 until after I got married.

After marriage and the stress of being a new wife, having a relative move in with me and working and going to school, along with having a job where the treats were plentiful (I was a private school teacher. Free lunch, candy for the kids, bagels in the break room, birthday parties, holiday get the picture) within 9 months I was almost 140 again. 137 to be exact. I know because they weighed me at the Dr.'s office right before they told me I was pregnant. I had just told myself that I needed to go on a diet.

I have a condition called hyperemisis, so during pregnancy I have an incredibly vicious form of morning sickness that afflicted me for 5.5 months at all times of day. I lost 25 pounds in my first trimester. Over the course of my pregnancy, I gained 35 pounds for a net total of 10 pounds gained. Trust me, I was miserable and wouldn't wish hyperemisis on my worst enemy.

After I delivered Jade and began nursing, my weight stabilized at a lovely 126. Woohoo!!! I was ecstatic. Add 12 months of snacking like crazy, indulging almost every whim and I was still only 132. That's one thing I finally noticed about myself, I gain slowly and lose slowly which has deceived me in the past. But I'm empowered now because I recognize it. Anywhoo, a year later I was closing in on 140. I started a workout regimen, but barely changed my diet. To make a long story short, by the time I discovered that I was pregnant with my son, I was 157.

I knew what was going to happen and consoled myself with the fact that this time, I would definitely keep it off. As expected, I was absolutely miserable and couldn't keep any food down. The hyperemisis gets worse with each pregnancy and this time I lost 38 pounds in my first trimester. Again, I eventually started gaining and ended with a net gain of about 15 pounds. And again, once I delivered and began nursing I was around 124. I went to a formal dance about two months after I delivered my son and wore a size 4 designer gown. I looked incredible!!! Jaws dropped when I entered and all night I heard, "Didn't you just have a baby?" Oh, what a wonderful night that was. Too bad six months later I was already up ten pounds.

I knew the routine, so this time I really tried not to allow the same thing to happen, however, at the time I Didn't realize that I gain and lose slowly, so after a week of eating horribly, I would weigh myself and see no change, so I would keep eating what I wanted. Or after a week of working out and watching my diet, I would see no change, so I would say, "It's not working!" and go back to eating whatever. At my son's first birthday party I was 136.

I stopped nursing in March and have put on ten pounds since then. I am vowing to stop it right here and right now. I refuse to let sweets control my life. Because, basically that is my problem. I like sweets. Cookies, cakes, brownies, ice cream, sorbet; I like it, I want it. But not enough to watch my weight and health get out of control. I'm nipping it for myself and to be a good example to my kids.

Plus, I plan on rewarding myself with a boudoir photo shoot when I get to my magic weight. I think that will motivate me to keep it off.


  1. Best Wishes and I'm right there with you!! Off to do some crunches. Rock On!

  2. It's definitely a long term behavior change isn't it!

    We'll be rooting for you :)

  3. You're going to do it. My problem is I don't gain weight (much), only 3 lbs since college, however, I have lost so much muscle, and its all turned to fat. So my clothes are beginning to fit like the pictures you posted before.
    I'm trying to change my eating habits as well. I finally starting to exercise again, so that should definitely help. Best wishes!