I am going through something right now and I really don't know what to do. I just have to let it rip, okay?
My daughter goes to a foreign language immersion preschool. It is a fairly new school and we've been with the school ever since it was still in the owner's home. Jade has absolutely blossomed in terms of her language acquisition. She can communicate well in both Japanese and French....even outside of school. She has gone up and started a conversation with people in Ikea who were speaking Japanese. So, I am very pleased with her language development.
Anywhoo, in my heart, I've always felt like a homeschooler. I have a well-defined educational philosophy which was heavily influenced by the book Dumbing Us Down. I believe in using the entire environment as the classroom. I reject out of hand the top-down approach to education where the teacher is the posessor of information and it is the job of the students to receive the knowledge. I believe in a child-led education environment, where children's natural curiosity is nurtured by a facilitator. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. So basically, the only way to give my children the kind of education I want them to have, the kind of education that is true to my philosphy, is to homeschool them. You are probably saying to yourself, 'well homeschool them, then!' aren't you? Not so fast.
I also highly value multilingualism and I can't give that to my kids if I homeschool them, since I am monolingual. Additionally, I have some other things I want to do with my life, in case you haven't noticed my 'About' section lately. May sound selfish, but I'm just being honest. Further, my situation is complicated by a lack of resources and by resources I mean money. I think I could easily homeschool if I could afford to hire a part time nanny (so I would have some time to work on my other interests), a regular housekeeper (I'm not good at cleaning now, forget about it if I'm homeschooling and pursuing my interests), memberships to every museum and cultural institute in my city (for field trips. remember, the entire world is the classroom) and regular travel. Don't forget money for the extracurriculars and of course, foreign language tutor. I'm so not exaggerating. If I were to homeschool, I would really want all of the above. Does that sound crazy?
To further complicate matters, I am not completely comfortable with Jade's school. It was fine when she was young, but now I am starting to be more critical of their curriculum and teaching methods. I know that my philosophy is almost impossible outside of a home environment, but still....I'm just not sure if the director knows what she is doing. I mean, she had a great idea and the resources to pull it off, but she is kinda making it up as she goes along.
What am I going to do? I feel so tormented over this issue. Am I denying my kids a valuable education over minute issues? Am I wanting to homeschool because I am a control freak? Do I need a reality check?
Am I just sending my kids to school so that I can selfishly pursue my interests? Am I selling my kids and myself out by settling for less than the best education (best being homeschooling)?
School starts August 10. I have got to make a decision and I am so lost.
I welcome your opinions and suggestions.