This is sooo not happening!

Remember when I wrote this post? It was on a Friday night. The next day news of the Swine Flu was all over the place. I started getting nervous, thinking that I had the dreaded condition. Then I was even more nervous because I had publicly outed myself. I imagined one of my readers alerting the health authorities and they would ask Blogger for my IP address and come find me. I could see them storming my house yelling, "Twenty-three nineteen!" just like they did in Monsters Inc.

Then I saw myself walking around like this:








I tried to get Tamiflu on the black market. I was too scared to go to the Urgent Care or even my Doctor's office because in my mind, if I went to the Dr. and I had swine flu then I would be marked as patient zero in my area. But if we went and I didn't have the swine flu, I might catch it from someone in the Dr.'s office.
I was paralyzed with fear. Until.....
I started getting better. And then I exhaled. There were no reports that people got sick with swine flu and then got better without medication. People got sick and if they didn't get medical attention they died. So if I was getting better then I couldn't possibly have the swine flu...right?
But then, I woke up this morning and I feel sick again!!!
Aaagh!!!
Yes I am neurotic. I thought you already knew.