Resplendent Life

It all started with raisins....

2009-08-14T14:53:00.003-04:00

I'm so PO'd, I really can't even write well right now, so let me take a deep breath........*exhale* and try to organize my thoughts.

It all started with raisins. I needed some raisins to make my famous homemade applesauce. The Hubs went in late today and Jade spent the night with granny, so I didn't have the kids with me when I made a quick run to Publix.

After missing the raisin aisle twice, I grabbed a box and headed to the checkout. I spied one with no line. As I speed walked over to the checkout lane, I was stopped in my tracks by the shocking imagery on a magazine cover

WTF?????? I need to see this when I'm checking out because???

I just think this type of 'art' needs to be in a brown wrapper, in the magazine aisle or something. NOT in the checkout lane. I was just at this same grocery store two days ago with both of my kids. They could have easily been there with me this time and if they had been, you know Jade would have had something to say. How the hell could I have explained that?

Of course, I complained to the manager and they apologized profusely and agreed to remove it stat. I'm just writing to warn you....be on the look out for smutty, pornography in the checkout lane and if you see it, please take the time to insist that they remove it!

Home At Last

2009-08-13T22:31:00.002-04:00

Today Jade had her classroom visit. She was able to get a feel for her classroom, meet some of her classmates and meet her three teachers.

Yes, I said three teachers.....for twenty kids. Does it sound like I'm excited? You guys have been with me on this journey of determining the best way to educate Jade, so you know how much this means to me. So if it sounds like I'm bragging, I'm not. But if it sounds like I'm over the top thrilled, I am. I really, really, am.

Tonight there was a class social for all the Kindergarten parents. Ok, these are some of the nicest, most down to earth people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

I feel so at home here. I think this is shaping up to be a great year.

Please remind me of this post when I'm pulling my hair out in six months.

P. U.

2009-08-12T17:43:00.003-04:00

So, earlier this summer I was in the market for a pair of cute, comfortable, casual shoes.
Of course, I didn't want to pay an arm and a leg so my first stop was DSW. I was almost immediately drawn to these beauties

They seemed to fit the bill. Cute? Check. Comfy? I tried them on and them were very comfortable...check. Casual but not flip-flop casual? Check. They were neutral, so they looked pretty good with most of my summer wardrobe. At $49.95, it wasn't the basement bargain I was hoping for, but I was kind of desperate because the shoes that I was rocking at the time were, uh, let's just say it was time for them to find their final resting place.

So, I've had these shoes for about five weeks and I have only one complaint.

It's kind of embarrassing....

Oh, I can't even say what the problem is, but by now you've probably guessed......

MY FEET STINK!!!

Oh my goodness, my feet are so funky!!! What in the world can I do about this? Wearing socks with the shoes is not cute, but I have to imagine that is the cause of this malodorous situation.

Have you ever had stinky feet? Any suggestions? Be gentle with me, please.

School News!!!

2009-08-11T14:41:00.002-04:00

Remember way back when I was so stressed out over Jade's school?

Well, I have excellent news to report on that front. It's a long story even for a blog post, but I'll try to condense it as much as possible.

Shortly after I posted about my confusion, I began to pray earnestly for God to reveal to me the path that I should take.

I felt that He was leading me to pull Jade out of her current foreign language immersion school. So I did.

Four days later, I got an e-mail that this private school had openings and scholarship money. I went to check out the school's website and instantly fell in love with the school's philosophy. Just about as close to my views on education as you can get in an institution.

I called them and found out that the scholarship money was earmarked for grades three and higher.

Disappointment.

Couldn't stop thinking about it, so I asked a friend of mine to introduce me to the director of the school. She did and that got me an 'in'.

Once I got the Director on the phone, he said they 'might' be able to find some money for Kindergarten. He suggested I come in for a tour.

Jade and I went in and Jade wowed them (no coaching, I swear!).

They asked us to apply. We did.

They called us today. Jade was accepted and we got a scholarship.

Can you say ECSTATIC?!!!!

Praise God! I feel so at ease about this decision. No knots in my stomach, no wondering if she really is getting a quality education. Just peace. Peace feels so good.

School starts Monday! Woohooo!!!!

Boo!

2009-08-09T07:18:00.000-04:00

I am totally cracking up as I write this post.

For some reason O woke up at 4 am and couldn't go back to sleep. He was wide awake and wriggled out of my arms down to the floor and proceeded to play.

Sleepy and not in the mood for shenanigans, I made sure that there were no safety concerns and I got back in the bed. O played with toys on the floor, in my room, in the dark for several minutes.

After a while he decided that playing would be much more fun if his sister could join in. He went into her room and instead of gently opening the door and walking over to her, he slammed open the door and walked in making a loud noise.

Have you ever heard someone make one of those truly startled screams?
Ughaaaagh!!!!

Oh my goodness, it was hilarious!!! I know it's terrible for me to laugh, but the sound of the scream was so funny and then she was sleepy and confused. She told him, "I'm going to tell mommy that you got out of your crib!" Oh my, it was too funny.

I know, I know. I have a sick sense of humor. I watch America's Funniest Home Video and crack up.

Back, Beat, Blast

2009-08-03T00:21:00.003-04:00

I'm back and may I just tell you that I had a B.L.A.S.T!!!!

BLAST!!!!

Chicago is still trying to recover!!

I will definitely fill you in later, but for right now, I'm beat!!!

Whirlwind

2009-07-30T00:48:00.003-04:00

This week has been a complete whirlwind.

Hubby went out of town Monday and came home late Tuesday night. Up and out of the house early Wednesday and didn't get home until after 11 pm.
Meanwhile, I'm schlepping the kids from activity to activity and trying to get ready for a mini- getaway in the crevices of time available to me.

Hubby's on the sofa asleep now and I am (in addition to blogging) cooking dinner for the next two nights, packing (for myself), giving myself a pedicure, packing for the kids (staying with granny for a couple of nights) and writing out a slightly less detailed schedule for the next few days. Oh and I'm also trying not to forget anything and did I mention that Jade and I have an appointment bright and early in the morning with a potential school? Yeah.

Additionally, after the meeting at the school I have to run several errands (one of which is to the warehouse store to get pull-ups) before dropping Jade at grandma's and (without spending any time with O) jetting to catch a late afternoon flight.

What the hell am I doing sitting here blogging?

See ya!!!

Do I hear $200?

2009-07-24T16:26:00.002-04:00

A few days ago, The Hubs and I went to a glitzy charity auction at a fancy schmancy hotel in the city. We scored free tickets courtesy of his boss who was double booked for the evening.

I got all dressed up and looked fabulous, if I do say so myself. The Hubs looked pretty good as well. I mean, I did allow him to stand next to me , y'know? ;)

It was a great time. Open bar, delicious food, open bar, good company, open bar, wonderful entertainment. Did I mention open bar?

The mistress of ceremonies mentioned that the silent auction would be closing in just a few minutes time, so I decided to go take a look at the wares. Just a look. Of course, I knew that we weren't going to be bidding on anything. You know with us not having any income and all. So, I just wanted to take a looksy.

As I perused the items with glass of wine in hand, I noticed that there was a fabulous item that only had one bidder. A private 5 course lunch and makeover for four at an upscale department store. Ha! The lone bidder was to become the owner of such a prize for the low, low price of $100. Almost a shame considering the auction was for charity, don't you think?

I knew you would agree with me. I immediately knew what had to be done and wasted no time doing it. In these difficult economic times, charities need our generosity, right? So, I bid against bidder 96 and upped the ante just a little bit. I mean, I've solicited for auctions before and whoever snagged this prize, surely thought it would bring in more money than a measly $100.

Just as I thought, after I added my bid, Bidder 96 decided that she wanted to own that item. Instead of going up one increment, she went up two increments!

Now, at this point, I really can't explain what happened. Something came over me. It's probably the same thing that comes over gamblers when they are at the Roulette table or shopaholics when they are at the mall. Perhaps it is just that thing that comes over people when they are on their (now) third glass of wine after being cooped up with two kids all week. ahem.

In any event, completely unbeknownst to The Hubs, I began a bidding war with Bidder 96. She played along. Finally, with just two minutes before closing, I snapped out of it and took my little self into the ballroom to eat the third course which was being served. I thought for sure Bidder 96 would swoop in at the last possible second and claim her prize.

Two hours later, as we were preparing to leave, I inquired at the check-out table, just in case.
Would you believe that Bidder 96 choked in the end and let me win the item? I was shocked (plus my wine had worn off). I was now the proud owner of the fabulous prize and the volunteer thanked me for my generosity.

Let's just say that Hubby was not as impressed.

Just go to sleep already!

2009-07-15T19:27:00.002-04:00

Lately Jade has taken to calling for us a million times after we put her to bed. "I'm having trouble sleeping. Will you stay with me a little while?" is usually what she'll say. That or, "I don't want to be all by myself." It is so annoying because I put 150% into every day (okay, maybe not 150% and maybe not everyday but I work hard) and I really look forward to relaxing after the kids are in bed and the last thing I want to hear is, "Moooommmy. Moooooommmmmyyyyyyyy."

This issue is compounded by the fact that The Hubs has been working late a lot. So after I do the whole getting in bed routine, then I have to answer the calls. So annoying.

Yesterday I had the kids up and out of the house by 9:30am. We went to the park and played hard. I mean, I was right there playing with them. Chasing them with a spray bottle and pretending to go on a road trip and everything. Then we stopped for lunch and went back to the park for more playing ( a friend called while we were having lunch and wanted to connect). I sang songs in the car all the way home to keep them awake so they could have a good nap.

When they woke up from their nap, we had a snack and then went to the library. After the library we went and visited with my inlaws. The Hubs was working late as usual, so by the time we got home (after 8:00p) it was on me to do the whole bedtime routine.

Needless to say, I was not in the mood for any shenanigans. This is what I told Jade as I tucked her in:

Me: Do not call my name. If you need to potty, go potty. If you need a drink, get some water out of the sink. If you have trouble sleeping, say a prayer, but whatever you do, do not call my name or you will have significant consequences.
Jade: What kind of consequences?
Me: Do you really want to find out?
Jade: Ummmm, no....

She didn't make a peep!

One Decision Down...

2009-07-13T14:01:00.002-04:00

Well, I made the decision to pull Jade from her preschool.
I have no idea what happens now. I guess we'll just keep enjoying our summer vacation while I explore all other options. It just got to the point with her school where I couldn't take it anymore. I found that I was rationalizing all of my concerns with the fact that she was doing so well with her foreign languages. Well, you know what? Foreign language isn't everything. Although it is super important to me. *sigh*

Anywhoo, in other news, have you seen this story in the Vancouver Sun?

"A typical street whore." "A bunch of ghetto thugs." "Ghetto street trash." "Wonder when she will get her first abortion."
These are a small selection of some of the racially-charged comments posted to the conservative 'Free Republic' blog Thursday, aimed at U.S. President Barack Obama's 11-year-old daughter Malia after she was photographed wearing a t-shirt with a peace sign on the front.
The thread was accompanied by a photo of Michelle Obama speaking to Malia that featured the caption, "To entertain her daughter, Michelle Obama loves to make monkey sounds."

I mean, can you believe these people? I really would like to know, who are the people who think and speak like this because I don't know anyone who does and I certainly wouldn't stand by while someone did it in my presence.
Just sick people, really. She is a child!!!

*deep breath* Honestly, between Michael Jackson and this news about Malia Obama and the Gosselin drama, I have come to a conclusion. The last thing that I want for myself or my children is fame. It is simply not worth it. Honestly, I wouldn't run for office for all the tea in China. Just so that my entire life can be dragged across the tabloids for all to trash? Just so that every item of clothing, every comment, every morsel of food that crosses my lips can be scrutinized? No thank you. And I don't know how we expect to get quality people to serve when they see the kind of treatment that they get.

Honestly.

Oh Janet is NOT going to be happy about this!!!

2009-07-06T20:38:00.002-04:00

Poor Joyce DeWitt. I loved her on Three's Company.

I bet she is more upset about the mugshot than about the fact that she got pulled over for DUI.
She actually doesn't look half-bad.....it's just that expression. It almost looks like she's saying....'Hey wouldja cut me some slack buddy? Whaddya say?"

Note to self - If ever arrested, no matter how bad I look, smile.

Mandate this!!!

2009-07-05T15:04:00.003-04:00

I am a Libertarian. I am also an idealist. I think you kind of have to be an idealist to be a Libertarian. I just read an article online that really gets to the Libertarian in me.

Susie Kessler had a great idea. She was worried about her teenaged children driving on busy, dangerous roads. This worry was exacerbated by the fact that auto accidents are the number one cause of death for teenagers. So she came up with a magnetized bumper sticker that reads 'CAUTION: NEWLY LICENSED'. The idea being that other drivers (the normal ones. not the sick, crazy people out there) will see the sticker and give the driver of the vehicle some grace when they wait forever to make a left turn or ride for miles with a turn signal on or drive 40 mph in the left lane. Sounds cool, right?

I think it's great. However, now she is working with a local legislator to make it the law that drivers have this magnet on the vehicle when they are driving. This drives me bananas.

Why do we have to have laws for everything? Good grief! Why does everything have to be mandated? I think this is a cute idea, Susie, but it doesn't have to be law. Share it with the other moms at your son's school. Share it with the local newpapers and magazines, go tell it on the mountain. I'm sure that other parents will think that it is a good idea and join you. Some parents won't think it is a good idea; whether it's because they are the kind of 'cool' parents who don't want to embarrass their children or because they think that announcing to the world that a teenager is driving the car makes them a target. Whatever the case may be, there will be some people that don't want to participate.....AND THAT'S OK!!!!

We are becomng a nation of people who don't do things because it is the right thing, we do it because it is the law. I think that is very sad. It takes the 'thinking' out of living. And not only that, as we continue down this path, we will get to the point where we won't do anything unless it is the law. We will look to the law to dictate every step that we take. College is good, should we mandate that? Exercise is good, should we mandate that? And if you think that I am taking the slippery slope to the next level, just think about it. We are on the precipice of offering a public option for healthcare. When people's unhealthy habits cost us money, I bet people will find a way to mandate certain behaviors.

I don't mean to go off on a political tangent, but we have got to do something. The more laws we have, the more government we need to enforce the laws.

I'm not for anarchy...I'm just saying.
PS
If you are interested in purchasing a bumper sticker or starting a campaign in your neighborhood/ school district/ burg check out www.newlylicensed.com

Ask Me 'After'

2009-06-30T20:38:00.002-04:00

Does this sound familiar to any of you?

Mom, after my nap can we go outside and play with water balloons?

Mom, after I finish my vegetables can I have some graham crackers?

Mom, after I clean up my room, can I play with PlayDoh?

Mom, after school can we go to the park?

After, after, after. Sheesh! I feel like she's trying to back me into a corner. She will ask me can she do things/ have stuff hours before the after. Good grief!! And then, if I agree, you know what happens.

If you barely take a nap and you get up fifty times in thirty minutes and I finally throw up my hands and say forget it but you still want to go outside and play water balloons because I said we could, after.

If it takes you forty-five minutes to finish your vegetables and everyone else has already excused themselves from the table and I've already finished cleaning the kitchen but you still want graham crackers because I said you could, after.

If I pick you up from school and the weather report is calling for thunderstorms but it's not actually raining at the moment and I try to explain this to you but you have a hissy fit because I said we could, after.

New rule....don't ask me now. Ask me after!

Can we go to the park after school? Ask me after school.
Can I have a treat after dinner? Ask me after dinner.
Can I watch a movie after my nap? Ask me after your nap.

Ahhhh...much better.

From the heart.......

2009-06-26T14:21:00.002-04:00

I am going through something right now and I really don't know what to do. I just have to let it rip, okay?

My daughter goes to a foreign language immersion preschool. It is a fairly new school and we've been with the school ever since it was still in the owner's home. Jade has absolutely blossomed in terms of her language acquisition. She can communicate well in both Japanese and French....even outside of school. She has gone up and started a conversation with people in Ikea who were speaking Japanese. So, I am very pleased with her language development.

Anywhoo, in my heart, I've always felt like a homeschooler. I have a well-defined educational philosophy which was heavily influenced by the book Dumbing Us Down. I believe in using the entire environment as the classroom. I reject out of hand the top-down approach to education where the teacher is the posessor of information and it is the job of the students to receive the knowledge. I believe in a child-led education environment, where children's natural curiosity is nurtured by a facilitator. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. So basically, the only way to give my children the kind of education I want them to have, the kind of education that is true to my philosphy, is to homeschool them. You are probably saying to yourself, 'well homeschool them, then!' aren't you? Not so fast.

I also highly value multilingualism and I can't give that to my kids if I homeschool them, since I am monolingual. Additionally, I have some other things I want to do with my life, in case you haven't noticed my 'About' section lately. May sound selfish, but I'm just being honest. Further, my situation is complicated by a lack of resources and by resources I mean money. I think I could easily homeschool if I could afford to hire a part time nanny (so I would have some time to work on my other interests), a regular housekeeper (I'm not good at cleaning now, forget about it if I'm homeschooling and pursuing my interests), memberships to every museum and cultural institute in my city (for field trips. remember, the entire world is the classroom) and regular travel. Don't forget money for the extracurriculars and of course, foreign language tutor. I'm so not exaggerating. If I were to homeschool, I would really want all of the above. Does that sound crazy?

To further complicate matters, I am not completely comfortable with Jade's school. It was fine when she was young, but now I am starting to be more critical of their curriculum and teaching methods. I know that my philosophy is almost impossible outside of a home environment, but still....I'm just not sure if the director knows what she is doing. I mean, she had a great idea and the resources to pull it off, but she is kinda making it up as she goes along.

What am I going to do? I feel so tormented over this issue. Am I denying my kids a valuable education over minute issues? Am I wanting to homeschool because I am a control freak? Do I need a reality check?
OR
Am I just sending my kids to school so that I can selfishly pursue my interests? Am I selling my kids and myself out by settling for less than the best education (best being homeschooling)?

School starts August 10. I have got to make a decision and I am so lost.
I welcome your opinions and suggestions.

You know how.......

2009-06-25T09:12:00.004-04:00

....when your kids are small, you sometimes allow them to play with things that normally you wouldn't give them, but they are little and can't really hurt themselves or anything with it, so you give it to them? You know, like letting your small child play with a jar of nail polish because you know they can't open it? No? Just me? Well, that's good....'cause if you did, then this might happen....

Mother, Daughter, Wife, Sister, Friend

2009-06-24T11:59:00.000-04:00

7:00am - My kids are up, I'm up. Combing hair, picking out clothes, preparing breakfast, playing, laughing, scolding, rushing.....getting the day started.

11:00am - I'm taking my dad to his Dr.'s appointment and to our local farmers' market. He brought a large cooler with him this visit and has plans to purchase ten pounds of the turkey sausage that they only sell at this farmers' market. He wants me with him when he gets his first PSA results after his surgery and he wants me with him at the farmers' market, to make sure he is getting the right kind of sausage.

4:00pm - I'm marinating a turkey breast in jerk sauce because I know that the Hubs loves jerk seasoning and we haven't had it in a while. I'm also taking care of some household business....faxing a document, calling the lawn guy, transferring money, etc.

8:00pm - I'm talking to my baby sister on the phone. I'm giving her advice on her relationship with her boyfriend, her relationship with our brother and our mother, talking to her professors, managing her employees at work, managing her supervisors at work and we end the conversation with a lesson in how to make macaroni and cheese.

11:00pm - I'm speeding on the highway, trying to make it as quickly and safely as possible to my girlfriend's house. She called me hysterical......she had to call 911.......her 2o month old is having trouble breathing.......her five year old is with her.......she can't find her husband.....
I'm on my way, I say.

2:00 am - I collapse into bed after seeing her five year old safely to a mutual friend's house for the night and staying with her at the children's hospital until her husband finally arrived.

No time to blog, too busy living!

2009-06-23T08:14:00.000-04:00

Hello friends!
I am a little tied up. My dad surprised me with a drop in visit just in time for Father's Day. It was great because I had asked him if he would take me to this Father Daughter dance that the Hubs was planning on attending with Jade. Dad said he couldn't make it, but he and the Hubs conspired to surprise me and we ended up going as well. So much fun!

However, it's been a busy weekend with the Father Daughter dance, Father's Day and my dad still in town, so time is limited.

I'll be back at it in a day or two...or three, you know how it goes!!! ;)

Counting Calories, now? Say it ain't so!!!

2009-06-22T08:36:00.000-04:00

I joined caloriecount.about.com this weekend, as I really try to get serious about my weight loss. This was my introduction and as I typed it, I realized that lots of my bloggy friends don't know the whole story, so here it is.

Hello!!

I am a just turned 30, stay at home mom of two great kids. My daughter Jade is 4 1/2 and my son Onyx is 18 months. I am 5'3 and currently 148 pounds. My goal weight is 125, but that is kind of my fantasy goal weight. I would be happy at 130, if I could stay right there.

My history with weight loss is tied to my sugar addiction and my emotional eating. I lost 30 pounds when I was in college. I had a demanding job and demanding school schedule and I ballooned up to almost 150. At the end of that semester, I got serious about working out and eating right. I was down to 120 and eventually gained back about 6 pounds, but held it steady at around 126 until after I got married.

After marriage and the stress of being a new wife, having a relative move in with me and working and going to school, along with having a job where the treats were plentiful (I was a private school teacher. Free lunch, candy for the kids, bagels in the break room, birthday parties, holiday parties.....you get the picture) within 9 months I was almost 140 again. 137 to be exact. I know because they weighed me at the Dr.'s office right before they told me I was pregnant. I had just told myself that I needed to go on a diet.

I have a condition called hyperemisis, so during pregnancy I have an incredibly vicious form of morning sickness that afflicted me for 5.5 months at all times of day. I lost 25 pounds in my first trimester. Over the course of my pregnancy, I gained 35 pounds for a net total of 10 pounds gained. Trust me, I was miserable and wouldn't wish hyperemisis on my worst enemy.

After I delivered Jade and began nursing, my weight stabilized at a lovely 126. Woohoo!!! I was ecstatic. Add 12 months of snacking like crazy, indulging almost every whim and I was still only 132. That's one thing I finally noticed about myself, I gain slowly and lose slowly which has deceived me in the past. But I'm empowered now because I recognize it. Anywhoo, a year later I was closing in on 140. I started a workout regimen, but barely changed my diet. To make a long story short, by the time I discovered that I was pregnant with my son, I was 157.

I knew what was going to happen and consoled myself with the fact that this time, I would definitely keep it off. As expected, I was absolutely miserable and couldn't keep any food down. The hyperemisis gets worse with each pregnancy and this time I lost 38 pounds in my first trimester. Again, I eventually started gaining and ended with a net gain of about 15 pounds. And again, once I delivered and began nursing I was around 124. I went to a formal dance about two months after I delivered my son and wore a size 4 designer gown. I looked incredible!!! Jaws dropped when I entered and all night I heard, "Didn't you just have a baby?" Oh, what a wonderful night that was. Too bad six months later I was already up ten pounds.

I knew the routine, so this time I really tried not to allow the same thing to happen, however, at the time I Didn't realize that I gain and lose slowly, so after a week of eating horribly, I would weigh myself and see no change, so I would keep eating what I wanted. Or after a week of working out and watching my diet, I would see no change, so I would say, "It's not working!" and go back to eating whatever. At my son's first birthday party I was 136.

I stopped nursing in March and have put on ten pounds since then. I am vowing to stop it right here and right now. I refuse to let sweets control my life. Because, basically that is my problem. I like sweets. Cookies, cakes, brownies, ice cream, sorbet; I like it, I want it. But not enough to watch my weight and health get out of control. I'm nipping it for myself and to be a good example to my kids.

Plus, I plan on rewarding myself with a boudoir photo shoot when I get to my magic weight. I think that will motivate me to keep it off.

Poor people shouldn't get fat

2009-06-17T15:17:00.000-04:00

Because when people get fat, then their clothes don't fit. And if you're poor and you're clothes don't fit, then you can't buy new clothes that fit. Then you walk around town with clothes that look like this

and like this
So, if you are poor, do your best not to get fat. Or if you start to get fat, you might want to consider getting pregnant, because you can always borrow some maternity clothes and everyone will understand why you are getting fat. However, you better figure out a way to get unpoor should you decided to go that route because babies can be pretty expensive.
Or, if you are poor and you are getting fat, you better figure out how to get unfat.

Since I have no plans on having more kids, and I find myself in the aforementioned predicament, I've decided to get unfat. I'm on day 3 of the 30 Day Shred. I've heard some pretty awful things about Jillian Michaels, but she's not so bad. Of course, I am doing Level 1, the modified exercises and using two pound weights, but you gotta start somewhere.

Keep the Change

2009-06-15T11:10:00.000-04:00

How was your weekend? Mine was very busy, but we still managed to get some relaxing in. Check out this hilarious situation from Saturday and let me know what you think....

Being the wonderful wife that I am, I decided to give my hubby a nice treat and take the kids out for the entire day on Saturday so that he could have some relax time. I know from first hand experience how rare it is to be alone in the house. You can go out to a coffee shop to grab a few minutes of alone time or you can have girls' night out, but how often do you have the luxury of being alone in your own home? For those of us with little kids, not very often. So, I took the kids out for the entire day. I left home around 11am and came home around 6pm. That's right, I even skipped their nap, opting instead to let them catnap in the car as we made the rounds visiting and running various errands.
There was just one stipulation....I asked hubby to clean the kids' bathroom (which had been out of order since my dad left more than a month ago). So basically, I asked him to do a chore that is normally mine and in exchange for doing me a favor, I would take the kids and give him some alone time. To thoroughly clean the bathroom would have only taken, at the most forty minutes. And that includes mopping the floor and cleaning the mirror. It's a tiny bathroom.

So tell me why I came home at around 6pm and hubby had not cleaned the bathroom. He was in good spirits, happy and appreciative of the alone time, but he hadn't cleaned the bathroom. But then he said, 'a deal's a deal and I will get right to it'.

Uh, dude, no. You were supposed to clean the bathroom while we were gone. Now that we are back, I'm ready to relax, not keep the kids away from you while you clean. The deal wasn't that you would clean the bathroom eventually, it was that you would clean the bathroom while we were gone. He didn't get why I was annoyed, so I gave him this analogy which I thought was pretty clever:

Honey, imagine a mother sending a child to the store to pick up a few items and telling the child to keep the change. Now imagine that the child goes to the store, doesn't get the items that the mom requested but instead spends all of the money on candy. Then the child comes back home and asks for more money to get the groceries. That's what you did.

That was a good analogy, right?

When is the right time to talk about it?

2009-06-12T01:35:00.000-04:00

I've been talking about this all over FB, Twitter and Yahoo! groups, so excuse my brusqueness.
I took Jade and O to the library for storytime. I was just trying to fill our morning with a quick activity so that the kids would take an early nap, so that we could go swimming with friends in the afternoon.
Anywhoo, so we go to storytime and the librarian picks up the book Freedom Summer by Deborah Wiles. I'm thinking, okay.....never heard of this book, what's it about. Then the librarian reads the author's note. Sidenote- are you even supposed to read the author's note to the kids? Here is an excerpt from the author's note....

Also in the summer of 1964, civil rights workers in Mississippi organized "Freedom Summer," a movement to register black Americans to vote. It was a time of great racial violence and change. That was the summer I began to pay attention: I noticed that black Americans used back doors, were waited on only after every white had been helped, and were treated poorly, all because of the color of their skin ... and no matter what any law said. I realized that a white person openly having a black friend, and vice versa, could be a dangerous thing.

Okay, I'm thinking to myself, 'are you kidding?' I want to leave but I don't want to cause a scene and getting Jade to leave storytime before the story would definitely cause a scene. The librarian starts reading the story and it's all about two friends, one white and one black. After the passage of the Civil Rights Act, the town pours tar in the town pool rather than allow black people to swim in it. Is it just me or is this a little, um, heavy for story time?

I have a lot of issues with this.

Shouldn't there be some sort of warning if the subject matter is going to be uh, sensitive?
Isn't it my job as a parent to determine when and how I want to discuss sensitive topics with my children?
The slave trade, American slavery and the Jim Crow period that followed are very serious, very....what's the word I'm looking for.....layered, multi-faceted...deep. I think that conversations like these deserve more than a 15 minute story time. This would be an ongoing conversation in my house, but I don't want the library forcing my hand.

So, I want to hear from you. Tell me what you think. Am I overreacting or am I right that this was not a great choice for story time?

And while we are talking about it, what hard topics have you addressed with your young kids? One woman on Twitter told me that she had discussed Prop. 8 with her three year old. Uh, wowza!

Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!!

2009-06-09T03:00:00.000-04:00

My blog was awarded!!! Can I just be really honest? I'm so happy to have finally won an award. I'm sure that you're not supposed to want awards, just like you're not supposed to want followers and you're not supposed to want comments, but I guess I'm just that shallow...I want it all and I don't mind saying it. LOL!!

Sometimes (I've heard from my other, more popular bloggy friends) awards can be a double edged sword in that they come with a bunch of strings attached. You know, tag 40 other bloggers, make a list of 800 random things about you, take a picture of yourself while standing on your head, etc. But my bloggy buddies know me for the sometimes slacker blogger that I am. These awards have no strings!! Wooohooo!!!

Cynthia K. gave me the lovely blog award and the timing is perfect because I get to pass it on to blogs that I've recently discovered and I just discovered an amazing blog! Now, a lot of my bloggy friends read this particular blog, but I had never heard of her before, so she is new to me.
Her name is Angela and her blog is Becoming Me. I'm newly in blog love. I'd also like to pass the award on to:

Shanta at Life As I Know
She's a stay-at-home mom of three who knits, crochets, sews, bakes, makes jewelry, etc. She is my hero and my nemesis at the same time! LOL!!

Dori at From A Yellow House In England
I'm just totally fascinated with expats

Sandi at Lucky 13 and Counting
Sandi has 13 kids!!! 'Nough said!!

and finally

Stormy at Wonder Woman
She is really an inspiration

Stormy gave me the 'Friends' award. I want to pass this award on to people with whom I feel that I am really developing a bloggy connection.

That would be

K at Interstitial Life
Kathy B! at The World According To Me
Martha at A Sense of Humor is Essential
The Rambler at My Rambling Thoughts
Cynthia K at Crumbs in the Minivan

These ladies make blogging fun for me because it feels more like a conversation with them.
And ladies, there are no strings attached to this award. Just sending some love!

Anywhoo, I would like to thank my very special bloggy friends Cynthia K. over at Crumbs in the Minivan and Stormy over at Wonder Woman for my first awards!!! Thanks so much. I feel sooooo special!!!

Preschool Pissing Contest

2009-06-07T15:06:00.000-04:00

Oh, today was a great day friends! We woke up and The Hubs surprised me by taking us out to breakfast. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day and we went to one of my favorite restaurants. So this was a wonderful surprise.
Then, even better, I convinced Hubby to take the kids for a little walk right after we ordered which made our meal so much more pleasant. They came back from their walk just as the food arrived.

Then after breakfast we took the kids to the park where I was picked up by another mom. Yes, she was drawn in by my mommy pheremones and she couldn't resist slipping me her number and begging to get a spot on O's playdate card. LOL!!

But the most hilarious thing that happened involved Jade. We were hanging around the monkey bars and I was explaining to Jade that you have to develop a lot of arm strength to go from just hanging on the bars, to swinging across the bars. She listened intently and then decided to give it a try. She was hanging on the first bar and you could see her willing one of her hands to move to the next bar, but she just couldn't bring herself to let go and try to walk across the bars.

While Jade was hanging there another little girl walked over, jumped on the bars and easily swung across. You can imagine that Jade was hot! The girl heard me explaining about the whole 'need a lot of arm strength' thing, so she said..."You also need a lot of arm strength to do this!" And she jumps off the monkey bars and does a semi-cartwheel. Well, Jade was just too put out! She jumped off the monkey bars and did a perfect cartwheel and ended with a flourish. She said, "I have a lot of arm strength and I can do a cartwheel the right way." The other little girl asks Jade, "How old are you?" Jade says with indignation, "I'm four!". The other girl says, "Well, I'm five!" And trounced away!!!
LOL!!!! Jade was not happy, but she felt like she had no comeback. I guess when you are a preschooler, age trumps all!!!

Granny Panties

2009-06-04T22:47:00.000-04:00

We all have them, right? They are so comfortable yet so unattractive. I love my granny panties.

Unfortunately, my granny panties look a lot worse than those. I had planned to take a picture of my actual granny panties for this post, but guess what? I'm wearing them!!!!! ROFL!!!!

Yes honey, I can't help it. They feel sooooo good. When I go to get dressed, if I see the granny panties, they are going on! They never give me a wedgie, they hug my bum just right, I can wear them with almost anything. Ahhhhh......I love my granny panties.

I remember the day I bought them. What a glorious day it was. We were shopping at an outlet center. I stopped by the L'eggs Hanes Bali Playtex Factory Outlet Store. My lovely granny panties came in a package of three. This is what they looked like when they were brand new...

only mine are black.

Problem is, they are getting a little, uh, worn. My granny panties look like this now

Yes. My granny panties are holey. And not just on the side. I've got quite a few, ahem, vents in my granny panties. ;)

Have no fear, friends. This post has a happy ending. If you are like me and have some granny panties that you need to get rid of, Vicki's Secret is making it easy for us to replace them.

Here's a coupon for free panties at Victoria's Secret, no purchase necessary!!! Hurry, go get some. It expires today!!!
Go!!!!

Send Me Your Gold and I'll Mail You A Check (heh,heh)

2009-06-02T23:16:00.000-04:00

Have you seen these commercials? Mail in your gold and we'll mail you a check. Okay, um, I may be a little slow here, but who in the world would do this? You are going to sell your valuables by mail to someone you don't know and you haven't even agreed upon a price? Yeah, this strikes me as just plain crazy.

And the commercials are hilarious! Have you seen the one that is directed towards *ahem* ladies of leisure? The company is called Out of Your Life.com. Now, when I first saw this commercial I thought it was just a different spin on the old 'mail me your gold' routine. But when I watched the commercial a couple of times on the website, I realized something different.

I can't post the commercial, but here are the reasons I believe that these commercials are specifically targeting the type of women who you would see on the Millionaire Matchmaker:

She names 6, count them, 6 men who have given her expensive jewelry that she is now selling.
She names two guys at the same time, implying that she was, uh, dating (and I use the term loosely) them simultaneously and she accepted expensive gifts from both of them.
She is currently wearing a HUGE engagement ring and planning a trip to Tahiti, Ireland or Italy....which implies that she is engaged or newly married and going on a honeymoon

Check out the commercial here and tell me what you think!

What Would You Do?

2009-05-29T15:07:00.000-04:00

The kids and I went to one of Jade's classmates' home for a PTA meeting.
While we were there, the son of the homeowner was being a little bossy and aggressive. This sometimes happens when kids have guests over; it's kind of like the 'you're in my world, now' syndrome. Well, at one point he scratched Jade's arm. It was a pretty bad scratch. So bad in fact, that I told Jade to ask the mom for a band-aid. The mom put Neosporin on it and a band-aid.
And she never said a word to me! Is that weird? I mean, if my child inflicted an injury on a child that required medical attention, I think I would say something to the parent. Something like, "Sapphire, I am so sorry. I don't know what got into little Johnny. Johnny, if you can't keep your hands to yourself, you are going to have a time-out while your friends play with your toys, do you understand me?"
Am I making too much of this? What do you think?

*Update - Just to give you an idea of how bad the scratch was, the meeting was last Wednesday and there is still a scab on Jade's arm, today.

BARF!!!!

2009-05-28T21:09:00.000-04:00

I ~~jumped at the opportunity to get out of the house alone~~ had to run to Wal-Mart this evening to pick up a few things for my hubby's dessert (yeah, I know......that's another post!).

While there, I browsed the toy section, looking for dolls for Jade and cars for O (these are the toys that they have expressed interest in, this is not me pushing my gender bias on them).

This is the first thing I saw in the doll section:

I thought that was bad, but then I saw her friend.....

I looked at the next display and saw this....

Okay.....are you barfing yet? I'm sorry, but these 'dolls' look like call girls to me. The final insult? The Bratz First Date doll series.

I have so many issues with these dolls. Besides the obnoxious clothes and makeup, why do the features have to be so extra and unnatural? Huge, exaggerated, slanted eyes? Voluminous hair down to their ankles? Pouty, collagen infused lips? And why the 'First Date' series? And if you are going to do a 'First Date' series, why put lipstick on the date? ;)

Images convey powerful messages.
What messages are these dolls conveying to you? What messages are they conveying to the generation of girls who are growing up playing with them?

It's the book's fault

2009-05-28T09:00:00.000-04:00

I'm so sorry guys. I have TONS of things to talk about, but I've been in a hostage situation. I think I mentioned a while ago that I am obsessive when reading, I just can't put it down until it's done. Well, I picked up a 700 page novel and I have literally been held hostage by it. Every free second, I've been reading which leaves no time for blogging.
I finished it last night.
And let me tell you the posts that I've been writing in my head.......

Granny Panties
The Bad Kid
It's the curriculum stupid!
Crisis of Purpose

I've had a lot going on. But I have to go run an errand now that is a story all by itself. Remember my cousin that I stood up on the day of the family meeting? Well, she's back.
Talk to you later!!!

We'll always have yesterday.....

2009-05-24T21:35:00.000-04:00

AAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was a great day!!

2009-05-23T22:40:00.000-04:00

Well, aside from my kids waking me up at the crack of dawn. Once I got up, I made a big pancake breakfast. Yummy!!! Then the Hubs cleaned the kitchen. Woohoo!!!! Then O and I took a nap while Jade and the Hubs had play time. Uh, hello! Can you say wonderful?

After our naps I made lunch for everyone. For myself, I made the most incredible salad. Oh my goodness, it was delicious! Start with fancy field greens and top with egg whites, raisins, croutons, tomatoes, and the pièce de résistance......small chunks of smoked gouda! Mmmm -mmmm, good!!!
It was soooo filling and just lovely down to the last bite. Yum!!

Then we went out and enjoyed a lovely, fun-filled afternoon. There were several outdoor festivals in town and we had a blast. We came home around 8:40pm and let me tell you, I had those kids bathed and in bed by 9:01.

All in all a great day.
PS
I took a picture of my salad, but I can't upload it right now. So if tomorrow's post is just a picture of a salad, you know why.

Okay, Okay

2009-05-19T20:26:00.000-04:00

I came back from a wonderful weekend and besides my hubby and kids I was greeted with this

and this.....

and this

So, I'll be back to blogging in a day or two, ok?

PS
These are not actual photos of my home, just pics I found online to illustrate my point.

No thanks, I'm taken.

2009-05-16T13:33:00.000-04:00

I have a dilemma for you. So, I'm going out of town for a wedding. This morning after I checked in, I wanted to grab a bite to eat. The first restaurant I stopped in didn’t have any fresh fruit (I didn’t want a muffin or a fatty breakfast sandwich because I am having MAJOR weight issues, which we will discuss very soon) so I asked the employees where I could find something lighter. They suggested another restaurant and an airport employee, who was in line in front of me, volunteered to show me where the other restaurant was. I thanked him and told him it wasn’t necessary for him to show me the way. He replied that he was going that way anyway.

We engaged in a little small talk on the way to the restaurant. When we got there, I ordered two bananas. The guy quickly ordered right after me and instructed the cashier to put everything on one tab. It all happened very quickly and I was caught by surprise. I thanked him for his kindness but insisted on paying for my own, however he and the cashier were quicker on the draw than me. The order was rung up and paid for before I could start rummaging in my purse.

I thanked him again and as we began walking in the same direction; me towards the security line and him, I don’t know, we chatted. The he did it. He asked me if I had a ‘boyfriend or anything’.

I answered that I had a husband. The guy was obviously surprised and he said, “Wow. Your husband is a lucky man to get someone like you. You have a beautiful smile.” I rewarded him for his astuteness with a mega watt version of said ‘beautiful smile’ and he went on his way as I got in the long, winding security line.

As I walked fifty paces in one direction, turned and walked fifty paces in the other direction, I started thinking about the situation and wondered if I mishandled it. Should I have insisted on paying him back for the bananas? Was it inappropriate for me, a married woman to accept two bananas from a strange man? Did I mislead him in anyway? If so, what are the rules?

What do you think? I kind of feel like maybe I shouldn’t have allowed him to pay for my food just to turn around and dash his hopes, but I’m not sure at what point I should have done something different. I’d love to hear what you think.

From the mouths of babes.....

2009-05-14T13:57:00.000-04:00

I've seen this cute little (activity? note? carnival?) thing around on FB and in blogland and I couldn't wait to try it with Jade.
Since I'm getting over being sick and getting ready to go out of town, today seemed like the perfect opportunity. I have to mention that Jade and I had this conversation one evening after dinner. She had had a long nap, so when The Hubs took O up to bed, I took a few minutes to ask her these questions.
Here goes!

Me: What is something mom always says to you?

Jade: Those little hands are going to get you in trouble.

Me: What makes mom happy?

Jade: Being excellent. Being good. (being excellent? Good grief, I sound like one of those moms!)

Me: What makes mom sad?

Jade: Being disobedient

Me: How does your mom make you laugh?

Jade: Saying jokes. Like, 'Hey, missy!' (she said this in a gruff voice, sort of like a man's voice. I have no idea what she is talking about.)

Me: What was your mom like as a child?

Jade: Doing a good example. Sapphire, I love you. (yes, she used my first name)

Me: How old is your mom?

Jade: 20% (HUH???)

Me: How tall is your mom? (I'm 5'3)

Jade: Very tall. Like this. *stands up in a chair*

Me: What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?

Jade: News *yawns*

Me: What does your mom do when you're not around?

Jade: Rest. (*snort* Don't I wish!!!!)

Me: If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

Jade: It will be for grown-up things.

Me: What is your mom really good at?

Jade: Teaching me. (Awwwwwww......)

Me: What is your mom not very good at?

Jade: Spanking. *BIG yawn*

Me: What does your mom do for her job?

Jade: Ummm…..*she goes into gibbereish*.
Me: What?
Jade: More gibbereish.
Me: *rephrasing* – What is mommy’s job?
Jade: Mommy’s job is to teach us.

Me: What is your mom's favorite food?

Jade: Tacos (that is not my favorite food.that’s just what we had for dinner). Mommy, may I go take a nap?

Me: What makes you proud of your mom?

Jade: Saying WOOHOO yeah *clapping hands*. And, when you put on a DVD. Mommy, I want to go take my bath. Now, please.

And with that, the interview ended. Between the yawns and the gibberish and the clearly articulated desire to go to bed, I decided against finishing this little activity tonight. I'll find another time to ask the final questions.

This was so much fun. Please do this with your kids and let me know. I can't wait to read the answers. Especially if you have kids of different ages, like four and eleven. I would be fascinated with their different answers.
Here are the remaining questions.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
17. What do you and your mom do together?
18. How are you and your mom the same?
19. How are you and your mom different?
20. How do you know your mom loves you?
21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?

This is sooo not happening!

2009-05-11T10:51:00.000-04:00

Remember when I wrote this post? It was on a Friday night. The next day news of the Swine Flu was all over the place. I started getting nervous, thinking that I had the dreaded condition. Then I was even more nervous because I had publicly outed myself. I imagined one of my readers alerting the health authorities and they would ask Blogger for my IP address and come find me. I could see them storming my house yelling, "Twenty-three nineteen!" just like they did in Monsters Inc.

Then I saw myself walking around like this:

I tried to get Tamiflu on the black market. I was too scared to go to the Urgent Care or even my Doctor's office because in my mind, if I went to the Dr. and I had swine flu then I would be marked as patient zero in my area. But if we went and I didn't have the swine flu, I might catch it from someone in the Dr.'s office.
I was paralyzed with fear. Until.....
I started getting better. And then I exhaled. There were no reports that people got sick with swine flu and then got better without medication. People got sick and if they didn't get medical attention they died. So if I was getting better then I couldn't possibly have the swine flu...right?
But then, I woke up this morning and I feel sick again!!!
Aaagh!!!
Yes I am neurotic. I thought you already knew.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T07:47:00.000-04:00

It's Mother's Day and you should be doing what you love to do best. But just in case what you love to do best is blog hop, and somehow you found your way here, I wanted to have something special for you.

Today I am remembering all of my mommy friends who have lost a child. Whether you had your baby for a few weeks in utero or for many years on earth, if you have experienced a loss, then this poem is for you. I pray that somehow, some way you find a little modicum of peace, if even for just a little while.

I also want to shout-out all of my mommy friends. You all have a very special place in my heart. I haven't known you the longest, but somehow you tend to trump my other friends at times. I think it's because we are taking this very singular journey together. There is nothing like motherhood and I'm so glad that you are my companions on this road. I love you!!!

Finally, I'd like to say thank-you to my own mother (who is a complete nut job, btw) who gave me life and raised me to the best of her ability. Mommy, I'm going to ~~try to~~ stop judging you. You were dealt a hand and you made choices. Sometimes you did what you thought was best, sometimes you did what you thought you had to do. Sometimes you did what the hell you wanted to do, but that's life. Anywhoo, our experiences make us who we are and if it weren't for the perfect combination of your skillful parenting and colossal screw-ups, I wouldn't be the person that I am today. And one day my kids will say the same.

Here's to you Mom!!!

But, I'm MARRIED!!!!

2009-05-06T14:26:00.000-04:00

K, the same thing happened to me!! Not only was I pretty young when I had my first child (24), but I totally have a baby face. I look so young that many times people don't think that I am a youthful looking adult; they really assume that I am a child. It doesn't help that I dress very, uh, casually, don't wear make-up and pull my hair back into a ponytail unless I have a specific reason not to (just in case you're wondering, leaving the house is reason enough in my book).

This makes for sometimes interesting, sometimes just plain annoying situations when I'm doing adult things like, paying bills, banking, grocery shopping, getting an oil change, etc. The worst happened when I was about eight months pregnant with Jade.

My OB's office was adjacent to the hospital and I had developed a weird affinity for the hospital cafeteria's food. Sick, I know. Anywhoo, I walked over to the hospital to get a grilled cheese sandwich. Well, I came across two older women and as I neared them, I made eye contact and give a small smile of hello. Instead of returning my polite gesture, one woman actually rolled her eyes, yes, ROLLED HER EYES and started talking to her companion,

"Dese young girls today just make me so sick. Out here gettin' dese babies and don't even know what to do wit 'em. Got their legs open to every Tom, Dick and Harry and runnin' around here wit NO SHAME, big bellies and all. Somebody need to whip their ass and teach 'em how a lady is spose to act. Hmph!"

O. kay. She intended for me to hear this. She intended to give me some shame because in her estimation I didn't have any. Only, she didn't know that I was an adult, I was married and I was gainfully employed.
So what did I do? Did I put her in her place? Did I put my hand on my hip and start working my neck and let her know just how wrong she was? No! I was eight months pregnant. I went to get my grilled cheese sandwich. I sat down at a table and as I ate the sandwich, I cried my eyes out. I kept saying (to myself, mind you), "but, I'm MARRIED!"
Then I went home and told my husband that for the duration of my pregnancy I refused to leave the house without him by my side.

This post was inspired by K over at Interstitial Life who is also dealing with Mean Girls.
Go read her, she is an amazing writer. And guess what! Today is her SITS day!!! Wooohooo!!!!

Why Thank You! You are too kind!

2009-05-05T08:19:00.000-04:00

I am recycling an earlier post that never got any comment love. This is a problem that I am STILL having, so please take a read and give me your thoughts.

I don't know how to take a compliment. Every time I am complimented, I have to deflect, defer or qualify. Every time. If you compliment an article of clothing, I'll either tell you how old it is, how cheap it was or from whom I borrowed it. I have a ten month old baby, so people will often say, "You look great for just having had a baby." What do I say? I tell them that I actually am gaining weight right now, that I was terribly sick while I was pregnant and didn't gain any weight, so really there was nothing to lose. I tell them that six months ago I was a size four, so really what you see today is no cause for compliment. Why can't I just say thank you? Is it because I feel disingenuous accepting a compliment that I don't feel 'worthy' of? Is this a sign of some desperate, deeply rooted insecurity? Or is it because I love to talk so much that I will seize any opportunity to launch into a story?
Just yesterday I was in this very situation. I was at a luncheon with a group of my husband's colleagues (most of whom I had never met before). One woman said, "You don't look like you just had a baby." The following conversation ensued:
Me: Well, it was almost a year ago, now.
Woman: Well, a year ago is 'just' to me. You look great! ***see, here the poor woman is just trying to reiterate her compliment, do I get it? Nope...read on*****
Me: Well, to be honest, I'm actually gaining weight now. You see, I had this condition called hyperemesis when I was pregnant and I lost 45 lbs. during my pregnancy. So, four weeks after I had my baby I was like, a size four. Now, I'm just trying to hold it steady.****About 30 seconds into this monologue the woman started looking away and fidgeting, probably wondering how she got into this conversation***
Woman: Well, you look terrific! ***walking away*** Excuse me.

WHY? WHY? Why do I this? So, I need some help. What's the best way to accept a compliment besides just saying 'thank you'? Especially in a cocktail party situation where you don't have relationships with the people to whom you are speaking and you want to be a good conversationalist?

Rambler says Back the Eff Up

2009-05-04T01:04:00.001-04:00

So, I was over at The Rambler's place today where she was totally putting people in their place regarding Personal Space and it reminded me of this recent incident.
I was picking up a few things at the grocery store. While in line, the woman behind me was totally invading my personal space. She didn't have a cart, just a couple of items that she held in her hands. The cashier finished ringing up my items and I was just about to swipe my debit card when the customer in line behind me walked right up to me and said, "Excuse me."

More than a little surprised, I stepped out of the way. She proceeded to pull her debit card out of her wallet and was about to swipe it when I asked, "What are you doing?".

She looked a little confused and the cashier informed her that I had not finished my transaction. She apologized and stepped back. I made light of the situation joking that if she wanted to buy my groceries she was more than welcome.

Okay, but seriously....how much of a rush do you have to be in to say "Excuse me" to the person in front of you?

At the ATM, the bathroom, all of the personal space invasion places, do you ever have to excuse yourself when it's your turn? No. You know it's your turn when the other person walks away.
Can you imagine someone coming up to you at the ATM and saying, "Excuse me. You done?"
Dude. You'll know I'm done when I'm gone.
Seriously!

This post was inspired by The Rambler who hits the nail on the head. Go read her, she is a total rock star!

Can we PUH-LEASE be on time?

2009-05-01T09:04:00.000-04:00

Great post! This is so my family, but we are worse. Much, much worse. We're hours late.
We typically don't leave the house until we are already thirty minutes or more late for an event. I know that sounds like we do it on purpose, but we don't. The only time that we are on time is when I am a total drill sergeant about it. I forgot to mention this to the Bantering Blonde, but what I do when I put my mind to it is work my way backward. Let's take a family dinner that starts at 4pm.
Take the time that the event starts and subtract 15 minutes. That's my ideal arrival time. 3:45

Then take driving time (in this example 35 min). Add 15 minutes of padding and subtract that from the answer to question 1. That's the time that I want to leave the house. 2:55

The entire family must be downstairs and dressed at least 20 minutes before we want to leave the house to pack snacks, do hair, lotion knees and elbows, find shoes and any number of other last minute things that pop up right before you walk out the door. 2:35.

It takes the four of us at least 90 minutes to get bathed and dressed (it takes me and the kids twenty, the rest is all The Hubs. oops...did I just call him out?) 1:05.

2 hour naps must be taken before we get ready. Kids must go down at 11am. (this is it's own countdown, but I won't get into it here. snack must occur such and such minutes before nap time to allow time for poop. it sucks when the babies go down for a nap and have to wake up thirty minutes into it to poop. They never get the full nap after that...I digress.)

So there you have it, in order to get somewhere on time by 4pm, we have to start planning at 11am. Hence, we are never on time!!

As a matter of fact, once we had the complete indignity of thinking that we were nearly 2 hours late for a family event, only to find that they had intentionally given us the wrong start time. In reality we were on time!
That's when you know your reputation is utterly and completely ruined.
Found you from Real Life Sarah.

This post was inspired by the Bantering Blonde who is always late....just like me. Only she's trying to do something about it!

Real Life Sarah totally rocks! She puts up a Mr. Linky every Monday for whatever you want! No memes (or carnivals. I am constantly getting those confused) required. What a way to pay it forward! Just be sure to visit the other bloggers!

Do you put your BUM on public toilets?

2009-04-27T11:22:00.000-04:00

This is so funny to me , because I'm known in my moms group as perfecting the best public potty position.
In my experience most public potties have been too tall for my daughter to squat. So I place one arm behind her back and one arm under her knees. She places one arm around my neck. And the key is, she relaxes her body, bends her knees and drops her bottom down low. This position is so much easier on my body. I hold her very low, her bottom is almost IN the toilet. But she is so tiny that she doesn't touch the seats. The urine goes straight into the toilet.
The dropping of the bottom is key, because once we were at a nature preserve and she had to go outside. She was nervous and didn't drop her bottom. SPRAY!!! It was worse because we had JUST gotten there. My socks were wet! Gross!!!

Anyhoo, the kids might be used to squatting in public restrooms with their parents, but may have associated the Zoo restroom with the school restroom since they were on a field trip. So technically, to them, they were 'at school'. Maybe? IDK!

Ok, last but not least, I just had a field trip with my daughter to the zoo and like I just explained, my daughter knows the deal. Well, guess what. The restroom had child sized toilets. When she saw that she wanted to go 'all by herself'. Get ready for the ick factor. I let her.
EWwwwwww!!!!
Ok, guess I'll go post this over at my blog since I've had writers block the past few days! LOL!!!

This post was inspired by MamaLaw.

Read them.....they'll need witnesses for their insanity pleas!!

It's getting hot in here!!!

2009-04-26T22:22:00.000-04:00

Since we're on the topic, I just have to mention those giveaway blogs that make you jump through hoops if you want to win. You know the ones where they say, to enter just leave a comment on my blog. And for extra entries, blog about this contest, tweet about this contest, re-tweet about this contest, grab my button...what else do they say...oh yeah, go to the company's website, sign up for their e-mail alerts, pick out which item you want, come back here and tell me all about it but leave each sentence in a separate comment....WHEW!!! It's enough to make your head spin!!!!

I did that once for a friend blogger (different from a bloggy friend) and of course, I didn't win, but good grief! Who has the time for all of that?

This post was inspired by Queen of Spain, who is definitely turning up the heat in the blogosphere.
Read her.....I love a good debate!!!

Defecaloesiophobia

2009-04-26T03:03:00.000-04:00

So this was my bright idea. It's just an experiment, so I guess I'll know if it's working if I lose another follower. LOL! Anywhoo, it's kind of like Jeopardy style blogging. I'll give you the comment (the answer) which is so interesting that you are motivated to go read the question (the original post). It's a great way for me to share my favorite bloggers. yes? Ok, now this first one is a little much, but bear with me, okay?

Hmmm....my uncle had butt surgery a few years ago and he came home with a special butt pillow. So when Chuck gets home Junior will forget all about your cool neck brace and start harassing Chuck, "Hold it!! Hold it!!"
ROFL!!!
Then he'll be all mad at both of you 'cuz you won't share your new toys.

But back to Chuck, I had those things when I was pregnant. The worse part was the Defecaloesiophobia. You have to get over it in order for it to get better. But don't worry, if Chuck has that problem he can call these folks and they will help.
What, was that TMI?
This post was inspired by.....Frogs in My Formula

Read her...she's hilarious!!!

Wait....Don't go!

2009-04-25T03:06:00.000-04:00

I can't sleep. I think I'm coming down with a summer cold. Ugh! My throat is so swollen that simply swallowing saliva feels like swallowing nails. And my head feels like that chick in those commercials. You know the one whose head swells up like a balloon? I never got those commercials until now. Plus, my body is achy. I thought it was just from my workouts, but now I know better.
Ugh.

So anywhoo, after my last post, I lost one follower. I had six followers and now I have five. Come back, my friend. I was just joking. Did I say weeks? I meant hours. See, I'm here right now. Posting.

But actually, I have found that my writers block does not persist when I'm leaving comments on other's blogs. Maybe I was just lacking inspiration. Tonight, I just left three mini-blogs in comment fields .Which gave me an idea. Stay tuned.

Soooo......

2009-04-24T08:16:00.000-04:00

I'm having a really hard time getting back in a blogging groove. So I'm just going to visit your blogs for the next few weeks.
So leave me a comment with your favorite blogs to visit, so I can make the rounds!!

Cheers!!!!

Mini-Me Strikes Again

2009-04-17T11:24:00.000-04:00

Ok, so this is hilarious.....

Remember when I was talking about how things you say to your children come back to bite you? Well, because I feel like Jade is constantly asking for something, I have told her in the past that my name is not "Mommy-may-I-have". It came back to bite me big time.

So, it's a few days before my trip and I am as distracted as ever. I'm thinking about all the things I have to do before I leave to make sure things go smoothly for me and my family while I'm gone. Onyx is napping. Jade is sitting at the kitchen table having a snack of graham crackers and dried pineapple pieces while coloring and I am at the sink washing greens (to cook for their dinner while I'm gone) and washing dishes. Don't ask me how you wash greens and dishes at the same time, you just do!

So, Jade asks if she can have more graham crackers. This makes me realize that it is really time for her to have lunch, but I want to finish the dishes and the greens before Onyx wakes, so in that distracted mom type way I answer her without really answering. "Honey, it's almost time for lunch. What are you going to have? We only have a little bit of curry chicken salad. I guess I'll make you a grilled cheese sandwich."

She somehow cuts through all the extraneous crap and gets to the heart of what she wants to communicate, "I don't want grilled cheese. I'll just take the little bit of curry chicken salad."

Alas, poor Jade doesn't get either the chicken salad or the graham crackers because I am distracted mom. I just stand at the sink and continue washing. My mind has already gone on to something else. Jade keep coloring.

About 8 minutes go by and she asks for more dried pineapple. This again brings me back to the present moment and as I look at the clock, I note again (as though I hadn't just noted this 8 minutes ago) that it is really her lunch time. Again I mention that there is not enough curry chicken salad for a suitable lunch and once again I suggest grilled cheese instead.

Jade: No grilled cheese. I'll just take the curry chicken salad.

But once again, too bad and so sad for Jade. Distracted Mom is here to stay. I continue washing and she doesn't get the chicken salad, the grilled cheese or the pineapple pieces. She keeps coloring. Honestly, I don't know what was wrong with me. I guess I was just really intent on finishing up what I was doing.

So a few more minutes pass and Jade tries again. This time she asks for water. It's like everytime she asks for something I am again reminded that the girl needs lunch. So, I snap out of it and say, "Jade, I'm so sorry honey. I am going to make you a grilled cheese sandwich right now."

Jade snaps. She sucks her teeth (loudly!) and says, " You know what, Mom? Nevermind!" (She is four year old, people!)

I am shocked! I am so shocked that I don't even comment on her rudeness. I exclaim, "Whaaat?" As in, why are you saying nevermind, not who do you think you are talking to.

She lays into me (you just have to imagine this with a four year old accent for lack of a better term):

I told you a long time ago that I don't like grilled cheese and not to make it anymore. I TOLD you that I wanted a little bit of curry chicken salad, but you keep asking me over and over and over and over again, do you want grilled cheese! My name is not Jade-do -you want!!!!!

O. kay. I just picked my face up off the floor and gave the girl some curry chicken salad, crackers and fruit. And I haven't mentioned grilled cheese since.

The Funeral

2009-04-16T11:40:00.000-04:00

When I was growing up my mother had a small group of cousins that all had children around the same age as me. These women did all things kid related together. This was the 80's so you have to imagine they were yuppies. They took us to the Poconos and to Sesame Place several times a year. They had elaborate birthday and Halloween parties for the children. We had huge Easter egg hunts and Fourth of July barbecues. And in between major events we just had sleepovers. Those cousins were like my siblings. They were a part of the fabric of my childhood. All of my major childhood memories involves one or all of them. One of them is the cousin who recently died.

Because my cousin was in Germany when she passed, the funeral wasn't held until nearly two weeks later. Which meant that the service didn't have that raw emotional element that it would have had if we were burying a 31 year old mother of of two young children just a few days after her demise. We had all had time for the knowledge to sink in. We had already argued with God, asked why, realized that there was no explanation and tried to develop a strategy for moving on. The service was more like a celebration of her memory and a time to see faces that we haven't seen in years. Of course, this is all from the extended family's perspective. Her mother, father, daughters and husband (married only two years! can you imagine?), I'm sure, are still in a state of shock and despair that they will be dealing with for the rest of their lives.

Though it was a sad occasion, it was really good to see so much of my family that I haven't seen or talked to in years. I guess it's true what they say about funerals and weddings.

I am really going to make the effort to not get so caught up in the little things and really think about life from a big picture perspective. Family is important. I wish I had learned this lesson before I lost my cousin.

I'm Back

2009-04-14T09:27:00.000-04:00

I'm back from my trip. We got back Sunday night around 10pm and my dad arrived Monday afternoon around noon. He has prostate cancer and is having cryosurgery performed by a doctor in my city, so he will be with us for 10 days.
Anyhoo, I have lots to share with you and will try to get back to the computer some time today.
Happy Day!!!!

Confession Part 1

2009-04-07T07:51:00.000-04:00

In light of yesterday's Oprah, I've decided to confess some things that I've been holding in.

Sometimes I put my kids in the bathtub, put a few drops of soap in the water and swish the water around. I don't actually wash them.
I've pretended not to hear my son crying for thirty minutes or more, hoping that his crying will eventually wake up The Hubs.
I'm pretending not to hear him crying right now. The Hubs is getting ready for work, O is crying. I told Jade to play with him. He's still standing here crying. I'm ignoring him. Finally Jade says to me, "Mom, O is crying. Don't you care?" WTH! Why do I always have to care? She didn't even ask The Hubs! Argh!

But most of my confessions have to do with my blog.....

I really don't have the hang of this blogging thing.
I don't really blog about the things I really want to talk about.....I'm barely scratching the surface here.
My cousin died......we grew up together and she was just 1 year older than me. I was devastated....but I didn't blog about it. I'm making the 14 hour drive to the funeral. I'm leaving tomorrow and I have a million things to do to get ready. But I'm really stressed about not having my blog maintained.

Okay.....I feel a little better now. Actually, I feel closer to you. I'm glad we had this little chat.

Talk to the Hand!!

2009-03-26T22:07:00.000-04:00

I love advice columns. One of my favorites is Dear Prudence in Slate. In her latest column she tackled a situation that I find myself in.

Dear Prudie, I am the flip-side of your letter last week from Bliss in Exile. Many years ago, when I was in high school, I did something very cruel to a friend of mine: I took her boyfriend. Now we are both married to other men. I found her on Facebook and attempted to contact her to apologize for the cruel thing I had done. She took your advice and hit "ignore." I feel terrible that I was not even given the opportunity to admit to her that what I did was wrong and try to make amends. I also feel a little angry because I think it is immature to hold a grudge or resentment for so long over something that a teenager once did to you. Now that I have been ignored by the person I would like to apologize to, should I just let it go? Or should I take another avenue to try to contact her to tell her how sorry I am? —Blocked

This is me, except that I'm the friend!!! When I was in high school, a very good friend slept with my boyfriend. I was devastated! Now we're all grown up and obviously I'm over it, but just because I'm over it doesn't mean that I want to be FB friends. I take issue with the idea that because I ignore your overtures means that I am somehow immature. I'm not holding a grudge or holding on to resentment...I'm simply not interested in being friends with you.

Further, where do you get the audacious idea that you deserve an opportunity to apologize? Let me get something straight...you do something terrible to me and I owe you the opportunity to apologize? I don't think so.

My ~~back stabber~~ former friend and I have close to 40 friends in common. We comment on the same photos and status updates. We 'see' each other all the time. And I am perfectly content to leave it at that.

Here's Prudie's advice.

Dear Blocked,
In response to Bliss in Exile, I have heard from several people who were the miscreants in high school and have successfully used Facebook to contact their victims and make amends. But the problem with simply making a friend request to someone you've hurt is that the person on the other end has no idea about your intentions. In cases such as yours, it's a better idea to use your Facebook network to get an address for your former classmate and write a letter explaining that what you did has weighed on you all these years, you are asking for forgiveness, and that you want to reconnect. Give your phone number and e-mail address and add you'd also be happy to be contacted through Facebook. If you don't hear anything, just be glad you did the right thing now, and accept that there are some people for whom high-school graduation was one of the happiest days of their lives.

—Prudie

Prudie, honey, there is a 'message' feature on FB. There is no need to stalk our mutual friends for a physical address or phone number. If my former friend sent me an apology message, I would simply say, "It's all good. Glad to see you are doing well. Peace!" There is no need for further communication.

So tell me, what do you think?

I did it all....now what?

2009-03-24T12:03:00.000-04:00

On Monday, my hubby took my daughter to school - like always, but about thirty minutes after they left, I heard the garage open again. Evidently, because we are so good about keeping up with the school calendar (not!) we didn't realize that Monday was a teacher planning day, so I unexpectedly had Jade home with me all day.
I wasn't prepared for that, but still I managed to :

Cook the main course for Monday's dinner
Play with the kids. Like, chase the kids and roll around on the floor, play.
Nurse the baby and put him down for a nap.
Make Jade a snack and have a 45 minute lesson on letter writing with her (taught her how to spell 'Dear' and 'Love' in the process)
Wash a MOUNTAIN of dishes. Seriously....a mountain.
Blog
Make Jade lunch and put her down for a nap.
Make O lunch after he woke from his nap.
Build a block tower (or two, or six) with O.
Sweep and mop the floor
Read for 45 minutes to both kids (well, O was in and out)
Make the rest of dinner and serve it to the kids.
Clean the kitchen...again.
And put the kids int he bathtub by the time the Hubs got home.

Now that may not seem like a lot to you supermamas out there, but for me that was huge. Especially because I wasn't planning on having both of the kids all day. If I am planning on it, then I, you know, PLAN an activity or something. Also, because I managed to spend quality time with my kids individually and together AND do domestic stuff AND do something just for me. That's HUGE. A day where I actually had....the mythical 'all'.

Now this creates a problem. How did this day come to be? I didn't follow a plan to perfection. everything was totally off the cuff. And furthermore, if a day like this is possible, why has it been so difficult for me in the past? Have I actually been slacking the previous four years? Is this the Bizarro World?
What in the world is going on?

Tub Fun

2009-03-23T01:21:00.000-04:00

The other night while playing in the tub, Jade took a toy frying pan, put it on her head and said, "Look mom, I'm a pothead!"

HILARIOUS!!

Wheeee-heee-HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

2009-03-18T13:00:00.000-04:00

I love how kids just break out in random happiness. The other day I was shopping with Jade and O and since the store wasn't crowded, I allowed Jade to push a full sized cart all by herself, just to appease her.

Let me say that I had just seen one of my husband's female colleagues in the store. She is a professional working mother of two, I am a stay-at-home mother of two. Whenever I see her, she looks impeccable and I look a mess.
I run into her far too frequently around town. We aren't really friends, so the first time I ran into her, we chatted for a few minutes. Then I saw her about two weeks later; shorter chat. Then I saw her again at a birthday party; barely chat. And then there was this last time, I pretended that I didn't see her and she pretended that she didn't see me.
Well, as fate would have it, I turned down an aisle that she was on and we were forced to speak to each other...this whole 'pretending not to see each other' was just pure silliness, anyway.

However, I was mortified when a few moments later, as we were leaving the aisle, I heard Jade let out a LOUD, "Whee-hee-HEEEEEEEEEEEEE" as she pushed the cart and then hopped on the back for a short ride. Oh my goodness! I was soooo embarrassed!!!

But then I thought about it. She was so genuinely happy...it was clearly like the most authentic kid moment I've seen her have in a long time. I put my pride behind me and enjoyed her enjoying herself.
Sometimes , you have to let kids revel in their unabashed kid-ness.

The Cougar

2009-03-17T23:30:00.000-04:00

Are you kidding me? I'm blog surfing/ watching TV and what do I hear....an advertisement for the latest dating show.....The Cougar. Yes, it is as awful as it sounds. From the website:

From the creator of The Bachelor comes a game-changing, provocative new reality show that redefines the rules of dating. One sexy, single, sophisticated woman is set up with younger men who are all vying for her affection. Through a series of weekly challenges, the men must prove they have what it takes to satisfy a woman of a certain age and avoid the kiss of death: a kiss on the cheek. Watch as The Cougar narrows her choices from 20 to 10 to five, ultimately choosing one lucky man to be her soul mate.

The depths to which reality television sinks never ceases to amaze me.

RANT!!!! Update

2009-03-17T09:19:00.000-04:00

OK, so I am watching the morning news shows and I find out that the bonuses have already been paid AND it has been public knowledge for a year. Then I see a clip of the President on television telling me that he is 'choking with anger'. No, Mr. President, I am choking with anger because you are trying to play me and you promised that you wouldn't. In your campaign you said you would bring a new kind of politics to Washington, but it seems to me that you are playing the same old game. You and your staff knew or should have known about these bonuses well before this week. That means that if it angered you, you should have been angry when YOU found out about it, not when WE found out about it. That means you should have told Secretary Geithner to employ every legal means to STOP the bonuses, not every legal means to GET THE MONEY BACK. I'm sorry Mr. President....I'm disappointed.

Sidenote: I was combing my daughter's hair and making breakfast while watching the morning news. My daughter, after listening to my rants for about 10 minutes, asks, "Mommy......um, why are you talking to those people? They can't hear you...they're just on TV."
Thanks, baby..ROFL!!!!!

RANT!!!!

2009-03-16T12:03:00.001-04:00

Can we talk for a minute? I'm sure by now you have heard about the ridiculousness that is AIG.

80% owned by the federal government
170 billion in bailouts thus far

And the latest is the hundreds of millions of dollars in 'bonus' pay that AIG, in spite of being insolvent, will pay it's employees. Their reason for paying the bonuses? It was 'promised' before the economic meltdown and is necessary to retain the 'top' talent. Secretary Geithner wrote to CEO Liddy, imploring him not to pay the bonuses, but succeeded only in compelling him to reduce the amount by 30%. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm not making it up. Oh, did I mention that these employees, the top talent who Liddy is afraid will jump ship if they don't receive their promised bonuses, these are the people who work in the AIG Financial Products subsidiary. Yeah, that's the division that nearly did AIG in. Yeah, they are getting bonuses.

Now I know this has been discussed ad nauseam, but what I want to say today is directed at our leaders in Washington. On all the Sunday talk shows, in all of the online magazines, all across the news spectrum everybody is outraged about this. 'Bipartisan Outrage' a headline screams. 'Bernanke says AIG angers him most' says another. And on and on and on. You know what my problem is? If everyone is so hot about this, tell me, how come nobody can do anything about it? I mean, am I missing something? We own 80% of AIG and we can't make him kill the bonuses? And if we can't do it by force of law, we can't compel them to change their minds? You mean to tell me that we don't have a strong enough argument for why these bonuses shouldn't be paid? The best you (Geithner, Frank, Bernanke, etc)can do is go on the news circuit and tell me how mad you are? Frankly, I don't want to hear your moral outrage and indignation. I want you to do what you were hired to do and fix it!!! When I see you on TV and you are going on and on about how outrageous this is and how angry it makes you, it doesn't make me feel as though you understand where I'm coming from. It makes me think that you are pathetic and useless. If you can't do anything about this injustice, then tell me, what am I paying you for?

True Confession Update

2009-03-14T23:29:00.000-04:00

On my way home I was really worried about what I was going to say to the Hubs. I mean, it's not really cool to go and steal an afternoon for yourself when you are supposed to be at an obligatory family meeting.
So, I was really thinking..... what should I say when I get home? I would never tell a flat out lie, but I contemplated saying something vague. I even thought (briefly) about starting a fight to avoid the convo.
When I walk in the door, all is quiet. The first thing the Hubs says is, "Honey, I'm so glad you made it home safely. I was really worried." *gulp* Okay honey, way to serve up a guilt sandwich right out of the gate.

I start asking him about the afternoon and he reports that all went well. Then he asks me about the meeting. I hesitate. "Well, a lot of people couldn't make it, " I begin. He interjects forcefully, "People in that town couldn't make it and you drove 75 miles in this weather? That's ridiculous!"
He's so sincere and genuinely upset that I have to confess. "Well, I didn't exactly....."
He finishes my sentence, "Babe, you didn't go?" I collapse into his lap in a fit of giggles and run on sentences, nearly quoting my blog post verbatim as I tell him what happened.
He was so cool about it. He shook his head at me and rubbed my back.....he couldn't bring himself to tell me I didn't suck, but he did tell me that he loved me in spite of my flakiness.

I love this man and take back everything I said before about him, you know annoying me and not being helpful on the Snow Day and everything.

True Confession

2009-03-14T18:53:00.000-04:00

I suck.
We were supposed to have a family meeting today. By 'we' I mean my extended family. The meeting was to take place at a relative's house located about 75 miles from my house. All week I had planned to go and another relative asked if she could ride with me. I agreed.
Then today, I woke up and the weather was bad. The Hubs said we shouldn't go. But then he annoyed me and I thought it would be a good idea to go and leave him and the children at home.
So, at the last minute I called my cousin Dee and confirmed that we were going, that I was leaving a little late and I would call her when I was close to her house.
But then I got in the car and saw the low fog that was hanging, the rain and the traffic. And I thought about having to drive all the way there and getting there late and then having to drive all the way back. I thought about spending three hours traveling for a one hour meeting and how I really didn't feel like going. I looked at the little sticker in the upper left hand corner of my windshield and, comparing the figure with my odometer, I realized that I'm nearly fifteen hundred miles overdue for an oil change. I listened to the squeal of my brakes as I approached a traffic light. I felt an overwhelming urge to do what I said I was going to do, what I was expected to do and what I had confirmed I would do not even twenty minutes earlier.......and I really, really, really didn't want to . So I hedged....I called Dee and asked if we could conference in to the family meeting. I told her that I didn't realize the traffic conditions until I got in the car and I really didn't feel comfortable driving all that way considering both my cars ailments and the rain slicked roads.
She was......not very understanding. And I see her perspective. As it turns out, other family members had canceled earlier and if she had known that I was not going to make it, she would have simply canceled the meeting altogether. As a matter of fact, it wasn't until after she talked to me and I confirmed that we were going that she let the host family know that the meeting was still on. She told me that the hostess had already spent more than a hundred dollars buying refreshments for a family meeting that was now canceled at the last minute.
I felt awful.
She went on to say that she had done a lot of research in preparation for the family meeting....had printed out information....in color, and it wasn't feasible to try to conference in.
She ended by saying that it was simply too much trouble for her to try and cajole the family into meeting every month and she wasn't doing it anymore. She hung up without saying goodbye.

As it were, I just so happened to be passing a shopping center that I used to frequent. I turned in and headed straight for a little coffee shop that I knew had WiFi. I ordered a tall hot chocolate, a chocolate chip cookie and promptly planted myself in a booth near an outlet. I didn't tell the Hubs that I decided against the meeting. I just plopped myself down with my laptop and a book and snatched a comfortable, self-indulgent day from the jaws of obligation. I've been here for nearly four hours.

I totally suck, right?

Eat the Cake Anna Mae!!!!

2009-03-10T13:11:00.000-04:00

Do you want to hear a hilarious story? The other night, after O had already had his midnight feeding he woke again. I was tired, so I brought him in the bed with me (I KNOW!!!!). I'm thinking that he just needs to cuddle and go back to sleep. It had only been three hours since he last nursed. Do you know that he immediately started trying to nurse? I firmly told him "No" and took his hands out of my shirt. He kept grabbing my shirt, reaching into my bra all the while whining and insisting on nursing. I told him, "NO!" and I turned over. Well, he morphed into baby Ike Turner..."Don't turn your back on me Anna Mae!!" He grabbed my hair and pulled HARD. I yelped and he then grabbed my face and tried to turn me over. "Gimme milk Anna Mae!!!" He was totally out of control!!! It was like a scene from What's Love Got to Do With It?

Rudey Award!!!

2009-03-08T23:26:00.001-04:00

So check this out....Jade, Onyx and I were out running around all afternoon, so we stopped at Chick-fil-A for lunch. I bring Onyx into the restaurant in his car seat, grab one of those high chairs on wheels and rest the car seat on top. Picture this : I am carrying a purse and a diaper bag on one arm and pushing a car seat perched on a high chair with the hand attached to that arm. In the other hand I am carrying a tray full of chicken, fruit, fries and drinks and trying to keep Jade near me as I attempt to make it to a booth. I am heading toward a side of the restaurant where there are only THREE boothes; a couple occupies one booth, a booth in the middle is vacant but clearly dirty (not filthy, but you can see crumbs on the table) and a third unoccupied, clean booth. As I am walking towards the booth a woman comes from behind me, goes around me and sits in the booth that I am clearly headed for. She gets there about 4 seconds before we do. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS WOMAN?? It was so blatantly rude that I had to say something. I say, "Oh, I guess you beat me to it!" Then she has the nerve to say, "Oh, I thought you were headed for that booth," (the dirty one). Give me a break! I wasn't going for that one for the same reason she wasn't and she knew it. Like I explained those were the only seats on that side of the restaurant. I had to turn around with all my stuff and go back ACROSS the restaurant to another seat. I really couldn't believe her. Lady, you get the rude person of the day award!!!

McBurglar?

2009-03-06T07:16:00.000-05:00

I know that we have all heard the story about the woman who called 911 because McDonald's ran out of chicken nuggets. But someone sent me an e-mail that examines this issue from another perspective. I am reposting it here. I'm trying to find out who the original author is and will update with credit. What do you think?

It seems to me like the media is focusing on the wrong part of this story.

Latreasa Goodman called 911 after she bought a 10 piece chicken nugget meal. She paid for her meal, got her change, and then the cashier told her they were out of chicken nuggets. She asked for her money back and the cashier told her all sales are final.

What sale?

Latreasa called 911 because McDonalds stole her $5 and wouldn't give it back after she found out that chicken nuggets were not available. The cashier said that she could have another item off the menu, but she could not have her money back. Latreasa called 911 (she did specify she needed police only in the phone conversation) to report that McDonalds took her $5 and wouldn't give her the chicken nuggets or her money back. The police department arrested Latreasa.

"The manager just took my money and won't give me my money back, trying to make me get something off the menu that I don't want, I ordered chicken nuggets. They don't have chicken nuggets, and so I told her, 'Just give me my money back,' and she tells me I have to pick something else off the menu. She is not going to give me my money back, and she don't have the right to take my money."
So is this about chicken nuggets or theft? How many people know their local police number (a much better option, but still...) $5 was obviously very important to this woman - which brings the next question...

Was this discrimination due to class?

If you walked into Home Depot and bought $1000 in lumber and they loaded your car with something else and refused to return your money because "all sales are final" then what would you do?

What if it was a $100 radio that you bought and then found out that it was out of stock - no returns!

What if it was $5....

Where is your limit?

Snow Day

2009-03-01T16:32:00.001-05:00

It's snowing today. Really snowing. Like horizontal snow, thunder and lightening. We even lost power for a few minutes. And since we live in the South, when it snows, you stay indoors because nobody can drive when it snows. The hubs is not happy about this, since he had planned to go into the office today to get ready for a major meeting on Tuesday. So, he's been sulking around the house being grumpy all morning. He keeps complaining that he has soooo much work to do.
The baby took a 3 1/2 hour nap this morning and hubby used that time to ~~get some work done~~ take a nap. Then when our son woke up and while I was trying to cook the lunch that he requested (breakfast potatoes, homemade applesauce, omelettes, and biscuits) he allowed the kids to run rampant because he was trying to 'work'. Literally, the kids are running all over the place, calling my name every few seconds while I'm in the kitchen trying to chop, season, stir and fry multiple dishes and he is sitting on the sofa reading a treatise. It took me forever to finish cooking and I kind of messed up the meal because I had to feed the baby lunch and occupy my four year old while I was cooking. The hubs kept reading. I even took the kids outside to play for a few minutes WHILE I was still cooking because I didn't want them to miss the opportunity to play outside in the snow. The Hubs wouldn't even get the kids dressed so that I could take them outside. He just kept reading.
Finally lunch was finished and it was time for our daughter to take her nap and lo and behold the baby was sleepy again, too. So I take the kids upstairs, get them ready for nap and put them to sleep. All this time the hubby just sat on the sofa reading. I plopped down on the sofa and said, "Finally, a moment's peace." He gave me a sympathetic smile. I was going to watch TV, but I didn't want to disturb his reading, so I started surfing the net. Now here is the kicker....do you know that within ten minutes I hear The Hubs SNORING!!!!! Can you believe this ish?
Both kids are down and you take a nap, but you couldn't tear yourself from your oh-so-important work for thirty minutes while I was losing my mind?
Must be nice!!!!

I Like Big Butts!!!!

2009-02-27T10:59:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's all of the high school people that have recently friended me on FB, but I'm feeling nostalgic, so here's a funny memory.

You know how when you're a teenager, you are always concerned with your body image? Well, it became clear to me early on that I was not going to be well-endowed. My boobs just sprouted a bit and then stopped. But what was more concerning to me was my butt. Yes, my butt. You see, when I was growing up it was all about the butt. Boys would try to touch your butt, they would talk about who had a big butt (this was a good thing)...the butt ruled! Alas, I had no butt (still don't unless I'm 10 pounds overweight, but I digress). I am built just like my dad, straight up and down in the back. So nobody ever tried to grab my butt and my name never came up in the locker room. *sigh*

Well, I had an electric blue suede skirt that was so cute! I loved it, except for one thing. It made my butt look even flatter than it was. I loved the skirt, but I hated the way it fit me. I didn't have the luxury of not wearing it, so my desperate 14 year old mind hatched a plan. Girls stuff their bras with toilet paper....I would stuff my butt. Obviously, I couldn't use toilet paper. I thought about it for a long time and then it hit me....a pillow!! We had some small throw pillows on our sofa. I would stuff my butt with a pillow. I ran downsairs and grabbed a pillow. It had a weird shape, but I stuffed it inside my tights and that gave it more of the natural butt look. Now!!! My butt was saying something!!! Baby got back!! Woohoo!!! The only problem was....well, it was a little too plump. Wouldn't the boys who were certified butt watchers notice that all of a sudden there was a new butt on the block? Would I get outed and if so, how would I ever live it down? I took the pillow out again and one look at that flat-as-a-board bottom made the risks well worth it.

I went to bed excited, but I woke up nervous. Would my plan work? I went for it. My parents didn't notice before I left the house. My friends at the bus stop didn't notice. This was good, it must not look too unnatural. I went to my locker before homeroom and one of my guy friends stopped to chat with me. As I walked away he whisteld and complimented my shapley buns with a "Dammmmmnnnnn....". I was elated!!!! Then he reached out to try and cop a feel. Yikes!!! I scooted out of the way. Close call!

Well, my buddy was impressed, because everytime I saw him throughout the day he was talking to another guy and pointing to me. I started to get nervous because I was getting appreciative looks and catcalls all throughout the day. I just knew it was a matter of time before someone grabbed my butt and realized it felt like Charmin. I had gym during 7th period (we had 8 periods), so when I got dressed after gym, I left the pillow in my locker. Guess what! It had absolutely no effect on my rep. LOL!!! For the rest of the day and on the bus ride home, I was still the subject of attention for my 'big' butt!! In just one day I cemented myself a reputation for having a shapely bottom...even when I wasn't stuffing anymore. It's like the Emperor's New Clothes effect. Enough people had labeled me 'nice butt', so it was so...even if people couldn't see it. Hilarious!!! Gotta love high school!!!

Seen and Heard

2009-02-25T14:37:00.000-05:00

Jade looked out of the sliding glass door that leads to the deck and gazed at the ocean. Then she made an observation...."Mommy, this water is chocolate"

Hmmm.....that is something you definitely don't want to read in a brochure. Home of the East Coast's most chocolate water!

Is this any way to treat a VIP? Day 1

2009-02-22T12:53:00.000-05:00

For his 70th birthday, my dad invited his children and grandchildren to join him for a week long vacation. Unfortunately, at the last minute my husband had to decline because of work commitments and I had to go alone with my two little ones.

HER SIDE: My word! My husband and I just arrived at this lovely luxury resort for a week of relaxation, but we are already off to a bad start. The first thing I noticed when I entered the lobby was a toddler and an older child squealing with delight as they ran around the lobby. Don't get me wrong, I love children. However this child was too little to be allowed to run freely around the hotel lobby and the other child was old enough to know better. I looked around to see where the parents were and I saw a young woman sitting on one of the sofas with her head resting in one hand. She looked terrible and she didn't even try to entertain the kids. They just ran all around the lobby; playing and yelling and causing a big commotion. Twice, they were almost run over by a luggage cart! At one point, the little boy was playing nearly 20 feet away from where she was sitting. He should be kept within arm's reach!!! Not to mention he and his older sister were screeching at the top of their lungs. I think maybe they don't get to play very often. Honestly, if you don't want to take care of the children, why did you have them?
Also, I noticed that she kept glaring at the hard working people at the front desk. I don't know what her problem was, they were so sweet and helpful. Check-in time wasn't until 4pm but they were able to check us in 20 minutes early because we are VIPs. Hmph! I hope we aren't on the same floor as this young lady and her children. And by the way, where in the world is the children's father?
MY SIDE:
I. DON'T. BELIEVE. THIS. CRAP!!!!!!! I did everything right. I called YESTERDAY and specifically asked for an early check-in. The woman told me that as VIP customers we be able to check in as early as 2pm. She said she sent an e-mail to the front desk, letting them know that we would definitely be taking advantage of this perk. I knew that we would arrive around noon, but I figured we'd see if the room was ready and if not, at least they would know that we were here and ready to check-in at two. We could go to lunch and walk around the resort to kill time. My kids were perfectly FINE at 2pm. But now it is 3:30pm. And my kids are not fine. I am not fine. I am about to lose my mind. They are already losing theirs. They are tired from being in their car seats for 6 hours, then sitting down and behaving at a restaurant for an hour, then back in the car seats for the short trip back to the resort. They need to take their naps. They need to take a bath. They need to get out of these clothes. WE NEED TO CHECK IN!!! And don't even get me started on my dad. He is no help at all! When we got back to the resort at 2p and the room wasn't ready, he went right back downstairs to sit in the car. Easy for him to do...if I attempted to put my kids back in their car seats there would be a full scale mutiny. So, I sit here....right in the middle of the lobby, surrounded by all of my luggage. I will not give them (front desk people) a moment's peace until I have a moment's peace. I will stare them down while my children run rampant all over the lobby, disturbing the other guests and the relaxing atmosphere they've tried to create. I want them to put pressure on the cleaning crew..."get this woman's room cleaned NOW!" I want them to notify me THE MOMENT my room is ready. And that is why I refuse to leave, or stress myself out even more by trying to make my kids behave.
And another thing.....this old lady needs to stop cutting her eyes at me before I give her a piece of my mind!

Ah, FINALLY!!! They're calling my name.....

The first night.....

2009-02-16T12:36:00.000-05:00

I am on a one week vacation with my two children but without my husband. It is quite an experience and I'm blogging about it here. This is the second post in the series.

The first night....

Jade slept well. I checked on her several times throughout the night and each time she was out cold, snoring softly. O was the opposite. He tossed and turned. He fidgeted and fussed. At one point I started having a flashback , but that wasn't the case. Then, I thought maybe he was inhaling too much Lysol. You know I Lysol all the sheets upon checking into a hotel. I do it as soon as we arrive, hoping it has a chance to air out before we go to bed, but I didn't intend for him to sleep with me (not sure what I was thinking) and so I did my bed last. Then I started freaking out, thinking he was getting brain damaged with every inhale. Didn't I hear something about how bad Lysol and other aerosols are for the brain! AAGH! What kind of mother am I? The kind who listens to her mother...she's the one who told me to do this! I grabbed one of our beach towels and put it on the bed. Then I put O on top of it. He went to sleep. Damn! I wonder how much damage was done.
Anyway, Jade was up at 7:00am, just like normal. I must admit, it was beautiful to see the sun rising over the ocean. Of course, once Jade was up, we all got up. I washed her up and changed O's diaper. Then they were clamoring for food. It should have taken me about ten minutes to fix them something to eat. However, since I had to answer 100 questions, come look at fifteen things, remove O from 6 dangerous situations while preparing breakfast, it took twice as long.

Sidenote: Am I crazy? I didn't have any bottled water, so I washed a pot and boiled tap water, then put it in the refrigerator to cool before I let them drink it.

After breakfast, I had to vacuum the stray Cheerios off the floor before I let O get out of his booster seat. It's his habit to throw some down for later. Then I cleaned up the kitchen. Then it was off to get them dressed. and do their hair. Finally, at 9:15 they were fed, dressed and ready to go. I, on the other hand, looked crazy and was already exhausted.

Mutually Exclusive

2009-02-10T08:22:00.000-05:00

Today I realized something...Jade and I have come to a point in our relationship where our happiness is mutually exclusive. What makes her happy makes me miserable and vice versa. I realized this after a couple of weeks of constantly saying 'no', 'stop', 'please don't do that', 'are you making a good choice', 'what in the world', and yes, even the occasional 'are you crazy?' has slipped out. Jade responds to these statements by ceasing the behavior but also pouting, stomping away, slamming down the offending object, and even throwing herself on the sofa and dissolving into a fit of tears. The quiet following her angst is pure bliss to me however I feel a little guilty because now instead of playing happily she is sulking. Conversely, on those occasions when I try not to be a wet blanket and allow her to make 'music' by banging her silverware on her dishes and the table, hide in my kitchen cabinets nearly taking them off the hinges as she gets in and out, stand on my furniture, swing a jump rope helicopter style in the house and of course my biggest pet peeve, talk (scream) at the top of her lungs, I find myself longing for a straitjacket and a padded room. Sooo, what to do?